“Love is like frantically addressing all of my inquiries with an unpredictably high degree of detail, while also taking care of me and looking for me when I am not well, give oneself up to my need for spontaneity, making food, taking care of me and sometimes making fun of each other, bringing best each other, and taking care of each other’s dreams, future and mental health and truly seeing my light and looking to amplify rather than dim it.” Let’s read these 21 questions for a new relationship to ask someone.
Dating is a phase of live relationships mainly run through in Western societies or in western culture in which two people meet humanly with the sight of each evaluating the other’s suitability as an expected partner in a future strong, happy relationship.
It describes a form of the love affair, made up of social activities pulled off by the couple, either alone or with others. The convention and application of dating, and the words used to explain it, vary significantly from society to society and over time and with the changing culture and changing thinking of society.
While the term has several different meanings, the most common usage refers to two people(who are thinking of dating) finding out whether they are romantically or sexually agreeable by taking parts in dates with the other. With the use of modern technology and devices, people can date via cell phone or computer or set out to meet in person. There are so many dating apps nowadays where people can find their better half in just a few taps.
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When you and your partner is informally dating (causal relationship), and you haven’t sorted out on one single guy/girl for a relationship, what you are looking for in a guy/girl could be completely different from what you want or need for a long-term relationship.
When you are new to a relationship, it is important that you get to know the person. There are many questions that need to be asked and answered before moving on with the relationship. You can ask things like “What do you like most about me?” or “How am I different from other girls/guys?’. These are just a few of the questions that could help you determine whether this person is for you or not.
The guy/girl that you have the most fun and lots of memories with might not be the best relationship material for you or may not be of your type. Before coming into a serious relationship with anyone you’ve been dating or knowing for some time or having a vibe from someone, you should ask these 21 questions for new relationships.
What are the 21 questions for a new relationship?
1. Will you be on my side always no matter what the situation is?
Upgrading your relationship to the next level can be exceptionally scary, and all you need to know is that you can completely trust your partner or have blind faith in your partner. Ask them ahead of time if they have your back or have your side no matter what the situation is, even when they are mad at you or have some issues.
You need to know that crystal clear. They will be there for you always, and at any point in time, they will always be there holding your hand and supporting you in the worst situation.
2. What do you consider cheating?
Different people have different points and views on cheating. Some people think that looking or liking or commenting on a picture of any one of the opposite sexes (gender) is cheating, or having a Facebook or Instagram friend that is of the opposite gender could be cheating. In actuality, these small things should not be considered or called cheating because that would be a sign of controlling or dominating behaviour.
So far, cheating might denote different things to different people of different thinking or different mindset. One person might think physical intimacy is cheating, while someone else may consider a simple holding hand as cheating. You must be both on the same side or equal side from the get-go.
3. How much honesty do you feel must be there in a relationship?
You always need to know that your partner is going, to be honest, and trustworthy with you no matter what the situation is or whatever issues you both have are facing or having fights or some problems, but at the same time, you don’t need someone who is going to be so hardly honest that they hurt your feelings and emotions all the time.
Talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend about how much honesty they feel is needed or important and healthy. It will help you both to grow together and come more closer to each other and create some good memories and a future together.
4. How do you think you’ve changed over the past few years?
Everyone should continuously be working toward being a better form of themselves. With each and every situation or problem you face and every broken relationship you are in, you gain knowledge about something more about yourself that you can apply to improve yourself.
Asking this question of a person gives you some intuition or a vibe into how good they are in touch with themselves and their own desires or needs or wants and whether they are to be expected to progress.
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5. What do you need or want out of this relationship?
Make sure that you are one and the other on the same page or on an equal side about where the relationship might go or can take you both. Asking your partner what they want out of the relationship is your own way to know what you might expect in the future or what’s coming in the future.
If you are marriage-minded, which is a good thing and your partner is not having the same mindset or thinking, you have to know that right away so that neither of you is wasting the other’s time either. Because in today’s world, people do time pass in relationships or come in relationships just for fun, but that thing hurts their partner’s feelings. So, it’s better to know on time what your partner wants in a relationship.
6. How do you deal with difficult situations or with problems?
It is essential to know what managing skills your potential partner may have for difficult situations or problems that you might face in the future. Couples go through all types of difficult situations and problems, and at very first, a lot of conversation and settlements or compromise is needed as you discover your own way through the muddy relationship waters.
If your partner is quick to anger or has anger issues (short-tempered) and has difficulty communicating during that interval of trouble, now is the right time for you to know that to determine if it is a deal-breaker or not. For every problem or in every situation, the best way to sort things is by communication; the more you communicate with your partner less, the fewer problems you will face.
7. Why didn’t your last relationship work out?
In some cases, the answer to this question will be very clear and simple, such as “she/he cheated on me or dumped me for someone else.” But most frequently, when a relationship fails to work, it is the fault of both parties (partners), or it may have been just an opposite issue. Advice to individuals to get ready for a serious relationship will answer this question impartially and truly and take some responsibility.
Answers to these questions will clear so many things in your mind about your partner and will help you to build a good relationship with your partner as you know all the problems, he/she had in the past, and you also do not repeat those things. And also, take care that your past doesn’t affect your present because in many cases, due to the past, many relationships get destroyed or have problems, so it’s better to clear everything on time and at the right time.
8. How did you deal with or handle your sentiments and feelings growing up?
This is one of the most essential questions for a new relationship because the answer or discussion will tell you if you can expect your partner to communicate or express their thoughts or thinking and emotions. The question also opens up an excellent opportunity for your partner to show some growth by telling the difference in how they now deal with or handle their emotions and feelings.
Because being too expressive and not being expressive also create lots of problems and issues, so yes, dealing and handling your emotions also plays an important role in a healthy relationship. As we grow, our sentiments and way of dealing with things change, and it’s important to have a good partner how to help you to make the right call and help you to handle your feelings.
9. What do you personally think about your friends’ relationships?
The explanation to this question will give you some good valuable intuition into what your partner thinks of as a good healthy relationship. They are probably to give you an example of a good happy, healthy relationship or an example of a bad, unlucky relationship. The thinking of your partner plays an essential role in a relationship, and if your partner is supporting something bad while clearing your mind.
10. Do you feel and think that we make each other better people?
The goal of any and every relationship is to be better together and grow together than you are apart. If you and your partner don’t make each other into better and successful people, that nullifies part of the point of being in a relationship. If you and your partner bring out the worst in each other’s personal life, a serious relationship probably isn’t healthy at all.
So before taking the next step to think about it, because relationships affect a lot on mental health and to grow and be a better person, you must have good mental health as well as a good supporting partner. Relationship plays an important role in your growth and helps you become a better person, so it’s important to have a good and supportive partner who brings the best in you, not flaws.
11. What do your partners value most about your relationship with them?
The explanation to this question will give you a clear idea of how serious and long your partner is about shifting your relationship to the next level. If they say something superficial like physical intimacy like sex, hook up, or having fun, you’ll know that you are just simply wasting your time on the wrong person. But sometimes, they will not say these things directly, but their actions and way of talking will tell you everything.
Because nowadays most people just want to satisfy their physical needs or complete their fantasies, so before coming to the next step, think, watch and then decide. The person who truly loves you and wants to be with you will never go for these things, so before committing something, think twice because it’s better to think and ask.
12. Do you want to have kids in the future?
Asking your partner if they want kids is an important question that you should ask before you get too serious with them and think about the future with them. If you are marriage-minded or a person who dates to marry and is looking for a lifetime partner, you want to know if you are on the same page regarding kids, whether you want to have them or not.
We all know it’s awkward to ask such questions, but if you are that much grown up and thinking about the future together then for sure you both should talk and have a conversation on such topics also, and it’s good to clear your mind about your partner’s thinking which is important to make your relationship happy.
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13. What things won’t you compromise on in any situation?
Everyone has something or a deal-breaker that they cannot compromise on. You and your partner need or have to discuss your deal breakers and make sure you are both on the same page or come to a satisfying agreement.
If something is black and white or unclear and you can’t agree, now is the right time to come upon that instead of years down the thoroughfare when it comes. And if your partner is asking you to compromise your dreams or something which is important to you, never do that; he/she is not the one for you.
14. Will your parents and friends be a problem in the future?
Sometimes your partner has a toxic family, or they have nosy or jealous friends against them being in a serious relationship with you for whatever reason. You must realize what you are getting yourself into before it begins.
Asking this question to get surety there are no surprises, and problems and issues and you can decide if it’s worth it. Because after getting serious it’s very difficult to cope up with these issues and it disturbs your relationship, and it’s happiness.
15. What are the things on your topmost priorities?
It’s really all up to us what we consider to be a good reasonable answer to this question. Most partners are going to say career, money, and you. If you are not one of those top priorities of your partner, you are wasting your time and energy on the wrong person.
Of course, without a doubt, they should make themselves a priority as well; after all, it’s all about them, but you should be up toward the top of the list because you both are thinking of taking a new step in your relationship. And if you are not their top priority, there is no surety you will be there in the future with them or living your life with them.
16. What are your views and thinking on women?
If you have been dating informally or in a causal relationship, you might not know your partner’s views on women. Some guys can come off as very nice gentlemen but be very narrow-minded in their thinking and attitudes.
You need to take care that their views on women or females do not conflict with your female empowerment perspective. If your partner doesn’t respect women, for sure, they will not respect you also, and in a relationship, mutual respect is so important.
17. How important is being physical (sex) to you?
For some partners, sex is extremely important or needed, and without having it, they are not going to be happy or stay in the relationship. If this is the situation, you need to know that going in so that you can find out if that is something you are ready to give into.
Some partners are completely okay with having very frequent, but others may not, and you need to make sure you’re on the same side; otherwise, you both are just simply wasting time. And a special note for guys: if a girl says no, it means no; if a girl says maybe, it also means no, and never force your partner to be physical with you in any situation.
18. What are your religious or caste and political views?
When you first start dating each other, you want to keep away from topics about religion or caste and politics because you desire to get to know your partners without these disputable topics getting in the way. But if you are thinking of taking your relationship to the next level, you and your partner need to either be to the same conclusion or be able to agree to what you disagree with.
Like some parents don’t allow their children to marry or date anyone out of their caste or religion. That’s why it’s important to talk about these if you are a person who believes in dating for marriage. If you both don’t stand on the same page, you should end everything without having double thoughts. You both are just simply wasting each other’s time.
19. Do independent or self-sufficient women scare you?
If you are an independent or self-sufficient woman and don’t rely on anyone for anything, you need to be in advance of that to your partner and allow him to take it a step back. Asking some questions lets you know if your partner can handle a serious relationship with a strong independent woman.
Because some people have the ego of being male and they try to be controlling, so before you take your relationship to the next step, first clear your partner about these things. Because a relationship is to help to grow, not to stop you from doing anything or being independent.
20. How is your financial situation or state?
No one wants to talk about money or financial state, but if you are in a genuine relationship with your partner, you should have some idea of their economic stability. The last thing you want is to get into or talk in a relationship with someone who is not economically stable and relies on you for everything or every expense.
And you should have an idea of what your partner does for earning, and their views on the future, because being economically stable is a must in life.
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21. Are you open to talking about your relationship?
All over in a relationship, there are many different times you may need or have to see a relationship counsellor or friend of yours. If you or your partner face a major life event or some worst situation, when you take your relationship with your partner to the next level, such as live-in or getting married, or when you have issues or fights in and out of the bedroom, an inclination to seek relationship conversation can save a relationship.
You must know in advance if your partner will be ready or not to go through relationship counselling. In fact, resource persons say that you must go to and face relationship counselling before getting or thinking of getting married or taking on a lifetime partner because you and your partner will have a much higher probability of success in your relationship.
22. What’s an attribute/characteristic that you look for in a new relationship as a result of a previous one?
You look for trust. You know that you can trust your partner to be loyal, honest and trustworthy. You also know that if something goes wrong in the relationship or if things change in your life, he will stick by you through all of it.
I look for a new relationship that is as much fun as the old one. I have learned to appreciate people who are different from me, and I am more open to experiences that broaden my horizons.
If you better-half answered these 21 questions for a new relationship satisfactorily and you are happy with their answers, and you both are on the same side, and you are ready to take your relationship to the next level, go for it without any hesitation because you have discussed everything which is important in a relationship or you have talked on everything which should be crystal clear to you before taking your relationship to the next level.
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